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Three Years & I'm Gone

by Ryan Anthony Brooks

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1.
Three years & I'm gone, pack up all my stuff. These lines in a notebook. Some pictures of family and friends. I guess it's a time to begin. I wrote you a song with the words on a napkin I left in a book I donated to the salvation army. And I'm sorry we're leaving so abruptly. But, the loveliest songs just...
2.
When autumn comes and goes, then winter comes and says I've missed you so. But, the feeling's not mutual. My January blues are more like hues of black and darker shades of gray. I think that I'll stay. If you want me. If you want me to... I caught a feeling in the summer. The only lover that I'll ever love again. I was starting to get impatient with lonely memories. And on the fourth day, we stayed up all night. I watched the fireworks ignite inside your eyes last July. Do you want me? Do you want me to? Starlight stutters off your eyes, whispering sweet melody. You're forever. But, all I knew was I've been waiting. (Another moment we're embracing.) And wanting every little moment of time. Last winter had me jaded, lonely, faded. (That feeling's long gone.) Then your summer smile laid on the west side of my shore. (How could I ask for more?) Each highway mile that passed by, things that we tried. Knowing summer ends and not to pretend like we don't know what we both need, and what we both want. Do you want me? Do you want me to? Do I need you? If you want me too.
3.
Slow Burn 03:55
When the sun sets on the hillside, and the yellows fade to black. I still hear your footsteps at the front door. You're curious to think, that a part of me still misses you. Well, maybe I do. But, I'm lying to myself. Self Deprecating. Contemplating if I'm worth your time or not. It's just the little things, I need some sympathy. And in the morning we could lay there for a while, in denial. Like, we have no better place to be. Or so it seems. A slow burn, turning deep inside my chest and I still feel the empty space between the counterpoint of hope and misery. I'm still the same, yet ever changing, A blurry picture fading of you and me. A love affair with who I used to be. A splinter in the end of fingertips, pushes deeper just to disappear and I know that you're still there. Stinging every time I play on my guitar. But, you move in fluid emotion. Is it true that we're fading away, like each day is a different person, in a picture I found before moving away. A token of my appreciation. A way to seem a little less jaded. I'm everything to everyone but me. A slow burn, turning deep inside my chest and I still feel the empty space between the counterpoint of hope and misery. I'm still the same, yet ever changing, A blurry picture fading. The diaries of all the times we wasted.
4.
Drown me in your sympathy. I'm sorry that I've been missing you. I know it's true, I'm still so blue, wanting you. I'm covered in your apathy. Like faces meet in passing cars. You'll go as far to glance inside my window and smile slightly. If I could find a way to rhyme, your heartbeat pressed against mine. Then maybe you could want me too. Beating in love and rhythm. I push my pen to the paper and write letters that I'll never send. I'll try and find a better way to pass the time. Till' I see your face. Another song it's been so long since we sat on your front porch. A cigarette between my lips. I played you songs that I wrote. You sat and stared, I felt quite scared. With honest words, my heart I'd bear. Two hour drives, the northern skies. I felt along. Till' I saw your face. Another line, more wasted time. Distracted by your quiet eyes. The kitchen floor, left wanting more. Unending conversation. Another day has passed away. I wish you'd stay. It's golden hour, you turn to drive away. Just once I wish I had the words to say.
5.
All my friends are married, and boy they all seem happy. They don't know I sad. It's funny how the friends that know you the best don't understand. All my time is wasted, getting high and isolated. So, why do I pretend like there's meaning in the end of every line in this song? And when I'm feeling low, it's a projection of all my contradictions. And I don't want to do this alone. That's just how it goes. And all they want to know, is if i'm feeling low. Truth is, yeah, maybe. But, if I put it plainly. I don't give a fuck. That's just my luck. We all got baggage, baby. And if you find your way out maybe we can kick it.

credits

released August 21, 2020

All Songs Written, Performed & Produced By: Ryan Anthony Brooks

Engineered/Co-Produced By: Ahren Lanfor

Bass Guitar By: Dylan Thomas

Guitar II By: Kyle Moore

Drums By: Will Chi

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Ryan Anthony Brooks Seattle, Washington

Seattle, WA. Indie Rock, Singer-Songwriter. Songs for dreamers, and non-believers.

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